Who of you are in a long term relationship at the moment? Well I am sure you will know what I am about to talk about from recent personal experience.
For those of you who are not in a long term relationship at the moment, this is probably why you aren’t!
Okay…let’s get to the point here.
You know when you meet someone and you just fall so deeply in love that you just think they are perfect? They just can’t put a foot wrong? Right?
They have these endearing little habits that make you just love them all the more…yes?? I thought so!
Let me tell you a secret….IT IS ALL A HOAX! Our biology is playing tricks on us. Now….. I am going to put my Biology teacher hat on and explain. The whole reason this happens to us is so we reproduce (just like all other living organisms). It is about evolution and natural selection. We evolved all these ‘love’ chemicals so we can get together long enough for us to produce offspring, which of course will have the same characteristics once they too go through puberty. This ensures continuation of our species. Full stop! Yep…blame it on the love chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine. This is pure the Darwin/Wallace theory of natural selection.
Yes, being in love feels wonderful and when it happens, we feel like there is nothing else that really matters. We see the world through rose coloured glasses. Then….Wham bam and a couple of kids later and/or after about 2 years (more or less), these feelings wear off. Oh No!!!!!!
Then the cutting of the toenails in the bathroom (and leaving the clippings lying around), or that cute little laugh begin to bloody annoy you. That’s when the ‘arrrgggg!!!’ comes in and tension develops.
You see, by letting someone else become close, it brings up many feelings and emotions, often negative, which have been festering since childhood.
This is the turning point.
Some people go off and find someone else to have the ‘love hit’ with and repeat the cycle like they seem to do in Hollywood every day.
Others, who understand that this change happens and who have allowed a deeper bond to develop, will continue in their relationships and reap the rewards.
By reaping the rewards, I mean that during the ‘courting’ period they got to know, respect and like each other. They may also realise that their partner is a reflection of themselves. What they see as flaws in their partner is really a deficiency in themselves and an opportunity to do some inner work. We learn to accept our partner ‘warts n all’ and continue to love them at a much deeper level.
Even so, sometimes people in relationships become ‘stuck’. This is where some intervention can help and put them back on track to having a wonderful loving relationship.
If this is you, go to my website positivelifeshift.com or you can leave a comment below.